Why Your Body Feels Like It’s Working Against You (Insights from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia)
I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia Sex Therapist & Intimacy Coach and I’m here today to help you with low libido.
Why getting in the mood feels hard, and what to do about it
Your Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
You know that moment when you finally feel a spark of interest? You think, “Okay, maybe this could happen tonight,” and you start leaning into it…
But then, nothing. Your body doesn’t respond. Suddenly, that spark of hope fizzles into frustration and confusion. You find yourself thinking, “Why is this so much harder for me than for him?”
Here’s the truth: There’s nothing wrong with you. But your body may be stuck in survival mode.
When your body feels overwhelmed, overstimulated, or exhausted, it prioritizes protection over connection. This means your body doesn’t respond to desire the way you want it to—it’s like your body doesn’t trust the signal.
But there’s good news: this isn’t permanent. With the right steps, you can reset and learn to work with your body instead of feeling like you’re constantly fighting against it.
What Is Survival Mode? Insights from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
When your body is in survival mode, it’s responding to chronic stress, burnout, or overstimulation. Instead of relaxing and connecting, your nervous system stays on high alert, making intimacy feel nearly impossible.
How Survival Mode Affects Low Desire:
Feeling emotionally drained or disconnected.
Struggling to get in the mood, even when you want to.
Experiencing physical symptoms like dryness or tension during intimacy.
5 Actionable Tips to Reset Low Desire (From a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia)
Calm Your Nervous System
Your body needs to feel safe to connect. Simple practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, or gentle stretching can help calm your nervous system and reduce the impact of survival mode on low desire.Reframe Your Mental Load
The mental load of managing everything can keep your body in high-alert mode. Delegate tasks, say no to unnecessary commitments, and create space for rest to help your body relax.Explore Non-Physical Connection
Intimacy isn’t just about the act—it’s about connection. Spend time being playful, affectionate, and close in ways that don’t have to lead anywhere. This helps rebuild trust with your body and your partner.Tune Into Your Body’s Needs
Start by noticing how your body feels during moments of stress or calm. This awareness can help you understand your triggers and identify what helps you feel safe and connected.Seek Support from a Professional
If you’re feeling stuck, consider reaching out to a sex therapist in Philadelphia. Professional guidance can provide personalized strategies to help you overcome survival mode and address low desire in a way that feels doable and effective.
Why You’re Not Broken (And How to Reset Low Desire)
Feeling like your body is working against you doesn’t have to be your reality. With intentional steps to calm your nervous system and reconnect with yourself, you can shift out of survival mode and rediscover the intimacy you’ve been missing.
You’re not broken—but your body is asking for help. Because you can feel confident, connected, and excited again.
Remember, change starts with small, intentional steps. You’ve got this.
Insights from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia: Download your FREE guide to increase low libido
If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
