Intimacy Coach for Women:
Overcome Low Libido & Reignite Your Love Life
Direct, Results-Driven Intimacy Coaching for Women
You’re not alone, and it’s not your fault, but I can help.
“Why does sex feel like such a chore now…”
“I want to WANT to have sex again…”
You’ve tried it all: the lacy, sexy underwear, the “libido-enhancing” supplements, the conversation card decks and date-night scratch-off books, you’ve even tried talking to your spouse but that was a disaster because you didn’t know what to say and he took it personally… and none of this has helped you increase desire and actually want to have sex again.
So, you think wtf, why can’t I figure this out, you don’t know what to do to fix it, and you get stuck avoiding all these tough feelings and hoping this is just a phase.
If you’ve been tirelessly searching for answers on Google like “how to increase desire” because you want to stop the low libido issues so you don’t feel so exhausted, guilty, and terrified about the future of your relationship—you're in the right place. Many women feel like they’re “broken” and like they’re failing their partners, but it’s not that simple.
Tired of Feeling Disconnected? Let’s Address Intimacy and Low Libido Together
Once sex starts to cause stress and tension in your relationships, your body can get stuck in overdrive with releasing stress hormones to help you deal with this, but this blocks your body’s ability to release arousal hormones. That’s why you’re never in the mood and instead resent your spouse every time he wants to have sex: because it kicks on all the harsh thoughts you’re having since you haven’t been able to figure this out on your own and worrying about the worst-case scenario for your marriage, flooding your body with stress hormones and effectively killing your libido.
My Desire to Fire Method is a practical, step-by-step approach that helps you reset, reconnect, and increase desire in a way that works for you. Together, we’ll build the tools and strategies you need to rebalance your hormones, stimulate your sex drive, and work as a team on this with your husband so that you can transform your connection—inside and outside the bedroom.
Straightforward Strategies to Reignite Your Connection and Libido: the Desire to Fire Method
Phase 1 – Rebalance Hormones to Combat Low Libido
Stress hormones hijack your arousal hormones, leading you to feel you can’t get in the mood no matter how hard you try, which is not only incredibly frustrating but also takes a toll on you over time, leading you to feel like there’s something wrong with you. This flood of stress hormones not only kills your sex drive, but also makes you feel exhausted, irritable, and disconnected—not exactly the recipe for a thriving life in general, let alone your sex life.
In Phase 1, we'll focus on calming your overactive nervous system. Because by soothing stress hormones, you'll start to:
Feel Less Drained: Regain energy so you're not constantly exhausted (yes please).
Enjoy Physical Affection Again: Stop cringing when your partner touches you because you’re afraid it’ll lead to sex.
Improve Overall Well-being: Reduce irritability, resentment, and guilt so that you have an easier time staying present, concentrating, and being productive in all areas of your life (where my list-makers at!)
Phase 2 – Discover How to Stimulate and Increase Low Libido in a Way That Finally Works
Feelings of brokenness, shame, and resentment can deepen the struggle with low libido, effectively getting you stuck in a negative feedback loop. That’s why it’s so frustrating when none of your good ideas work—because the more you try and fail, the more you think, maybe it is just me. It’s not and you can do this, you just need a different in so you can stop battling your body and start working with it. Because this makes it so much easier to get in the mood.
In Phase 2, we'll:
Teach You How to Stimulate Your Sex Drive: Learn to feel sexy and desirable, both inside and outside the bedroom so that you can stop doing what you don’t like (which is why sex feels like a chore), do more of what you DO like, and even initiate with ease (yes, really, you’ll want to initiate!).
Work WITH Your Body: Understand how to stimulate your sex drive in pleasurable and sustainable ways and gain the confidence that comes from knowing how your body works, what it needs, and how to make it do what you want it to.
Eliminate the Negative Self-Talk: Stop feeling broken (because you’ll quickly see that you’re not) and stop beating yourself up for something that's not your fault. This only feels hard right now because no one taught you the skills you need to know so you just need to know what to do and how to do it to be successful.
Phase 3 – Overcome Low Libido and Increase Sex Drive and Intimacy Together
A fulfilling relationship requires teamwork, especially when dealing with low libido and trying to build a great sex life for you both. While we’ll work on helping you stimulate your sex drive, sex is a shared experience so this isn’t “your problem to fix,” but rather an issue for you two to navigate together to find the best balance for both of you. But fear of rejection or destroying the relationship can make open communication and collaboration difficult, so we skill build around this to make sure you have the strategies to be successful.
This is only hard right now because knowing how to do this isn’t some inherent skill you have and I’m guessing no one ever taught you how to talk about sex with your spouse and navigate these frustrations productively, so you just need new tools.
In Phase 3, we'll:
Increase Intimacy and Fun (Inside and Outside the Bedroom): Develop strategies to bring excitement back into your relationship and get you back on the same team so you’re in this together. That way you’re not trying to fix this on your own (that doesn’t work anyway) so you can stop feeling alone in this.
Master Communication: Learn how to have productive conversations without fear or resentment. You’ll master many communication strategies, including saying no to sex without guilt, speaking up for what you want in bed, and advocating for what you need in the relationship, plus much, much more. These skills go way beyond the bedroom and help you build a solid foundation you can utilize for years to come.
Strengthen Your Connection and Sense of Teamwork: Explore a better sex life together, ways to boost intimacy inside and outside the bedroom, and manage different sex drives with ease. It’s normal to have a different sex drive than your spouse and not be in the same mood at the same time and when you’re done with DTF, you’ll be able to navigate all this with ease and confidence.
The Transformation: From Low Libido and Guilt to a Thriving Love Life and Excitement in Your Relationship Again
Imagine this day in your life after you work with an Intimacy Coach:
You wake up feeling refreshed, not exhausted. You look forward to spending time with your husband without the looming anxiety of sexual expectations. Physical affection feels comforting rather than pressuring. You feel confident initiating intimacy, because you know how to ask for what you want, can say no without guilt when you’re not in the mood, and know you two can navigate this well without it ending in a fight or being something you can’t even talk about.
By addressing stress hormones and low libido at their roots, the Desire to Fire Method helps you:
Erinn Hoel (& Leo), Intimacy Coach
Rekindle the Passion of the Early Days:
Intimacy becomes enjoyable and something you look forward to instead of something that’s filled with pressure and obligation.
Enhance Emotional Connection In Your Everyday Life:
Feel more closely connected and like you're truly a team so you no longer feel alone in this.
Improve Overall Health and Well-being:
Benefit from boosting happy hormones, connection hormones, and transforming your overall quality of life by lowering stress hormones and the impact of these on every area of your life.
FAQs: Working With An Intimacy Coach
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Intimacy coaching helps individuals or couples rebuild connection, improve communication, and address issues like low libido or intimacy challenges through actionable, personalized strategies.
I specialize in helping women with low libido stop feeling like sex is a chore so they can start enjoying it again and transform their love lives and marriages.
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An intimacy coach works with clients to identify barriers to desire and connection, offering tailored guidance and techniques to reignite intimacy and foster deeper relationships.
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Intimacy training involves learning skills and strategies to enhance emotional and physical connection, better understand your needs, and create a more fulfilling relationship dynamic.
Why the Desire to Fire Method Works: Insights from an Intimacy Coach
Holistic Approach Addressing the REAL Issue: We address the real root issue of intimacy right now—stress hormones hijacking your arousal—not just symptoms of low desire and low libido. No more useless “libido-enhancing” supplements, lacy underwear that rides up your ass, or date night band-aid solutions that don’t get you long-term results
Personalized, Individualized Support: I fully believe in the power of support, knowing you’re not the only one, and not having to go it alone so I’ve strategically implemented multiple ways to seek support, get guidance, and get the accountability you need to make sustainable changes.
Expert Guidance—No More Guesswork, No More Feeling Lost: Not only do I have years of training and education, have helped numerous women with this, and am also a sex therapist on the side, I’ve been through this myself. I know how hard it is to try to figure this out alone, how scary it can be in your relationship, and how devastating it is to feel broken. So I'm with you every step of the way, helping guide, problem-solve, and cheering on your wins.
It's Time to See An Intimacy Coach & Fix Low Libido So You Can Enjoy Your Love Life Again
You don't have to navigate this journey alone or continue feeling stuck and overwhelmed. There are easier ways and the Desire to Fire Method offers a proven path to overcome low libido so you can finally increase desire and rediscover ease, affection, and connection in your relationship.
Remember, taking the first step is often the hardest—but it's also the most empowering.