Talk Dirty to Me Part 1: Why talking about sex can lead to better sex

Part 1: The Health Talk

I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia sex therapist and couples therapist, and today I’m bringing you part 1 in a 5 part series about why talking about and during sex can help you have better sex and more of it.

Transcript:

You may feel some awkwardness when talking about sex, you don’t know what to say, it’s just easier to avoid. And honestly, that’s true, in that moment. But this sets you up for sex that’s not very exciting, kind of blah, and may even stressful in the long run. Most people don’t want that, and I don’t want that for you so

Talk Dirty to Me: Talking about sex for better sex and more desire

In this series, I’m bringing you 5 sex talks you can have. You don’t need to be super strict about how you have them- you can mix and match, talk about all of them, talk about 1 and not the others, it’s up to you. But my hope is that you start having some type of conversation about sex because that is what can ultimately lead you to better sex and more desire.

Sex Talk: Health Talk

So today I’m bringing you the health talk, which includes a few things you may not have thought about and a few you probably have like if it’s early in your relationship this is a good time to talk about birth control and getting tested because safe sex is great sex. And the health talk can be a lot more than that. Do you or your partner have any medical conditions, injuries, or sore muscles, I mean anything like that can affect sex because your physical health has a big impact on your sexual health.

Talk to each other about how you’re sleeping- if you’re exhausted and feel like shit, that’s going to interfere with how sexy you feel and how much you’re going to want to have sex. Talk about diet and exercise- if you’ve really been grinding and feeling good about your body and what you’re eating, you’re going to be in a different head space than vegging out and ordering take out every night.

Does talking about health really lead to better sex and desire?

Now you may feel some of this isn’t super related to sex, but I’d challenge that! Everything in your body and all these systems are connected. And what’s important in talking to your partner about these things isn’t so they know your sleep schedule and how much your exercising, but it’s so you have a better understanding of how these things impact you both so you can build a better sex life together. For example, you may love going out to dinner, but after a few drinks and eating a bunch of good food you don’t feel super sexy- probably not the best time to try and have sex. But maybe your partner feels really connected after a date night like that and wants to have sex, so here’s a disconnect. Having a simple conversation about this can save you some stress and help you have a better understanding of what’s going on so you can find the sweet spot for you both.

So in the next week or so try talking to your partner about some of these things and see how it goes. The worse that can happen is your communicating more? Have a better understanding of each other’s health? But the best that can happen is syncing you up to have better sex and more desire.

Free Sex Therapy call in Philadelphia, PA

If you’re interested in learning more about how your health impacts your desire and sex drive, click here and we can set up a 15 min phone chat. I’d be happy to learn more about your individual experiences and help you figure out how to choose the best sex therapist for you. If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.

My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.