Sex and the Holidays: 5 tips to help you and your partner boost connection
I’m Erinn, your couples therapist and sex therapist in Philadelphia, and today I’m back with Part 2 of 3 of the Sex and the Holiday Series to help you boost connection with your partner.
Watch the video here.
Part 1: 5 tips to help you and your partner manage stress- watch video, read blog
Sex and the Holidays: Boost Connection
In part 1 we covered some of the stressors that can occur during the holiday season because they can be stressful, and we explored some things you can do to manage that. Today I want to focus on the dynamic between you and your partner, because this time of year is busy and hectic, and it can be tough to stay connected to each other with everything going on.
5 tips to boost your connection, sex drive, and desire with your partner during the holidays
Make a point to have alone time together
Whether you’re traveling, have family visiting, have a bunch of holiday parties, or whatever, find time to spend together, just the two of you. It can be easy to get caught up in all the excitement and moving pieces, but just having two minutes together with your partner can help boost connection. It might not be realistic to have a ton of alone time for one reason or another, but if you focus on quality over quantity even small connections between you two can be impactful. And the more connected you can stay, the easier it is to get back into the swing of sex after the holidays are over.
Share your frustrations
The holidays can be stressful, so it’s okay to feel stressed out. Share that with your partner. The more they know about what’s going on with you, the easier it is for them to support you and for you to be teammates who are in this together. And encourage them to do the same. Stress is a killer for sex drive so doing things like utilizing each other for support and getting that stress out will actually help out your sex drive.
Find time for physical connection other than sex
Kiss, hug, hold hands, cuddle up together in bed for a minute, whatever you want. Physical connection with your partner has been proven to decrease stress, so you might as well take advantage of that. Instead of focusing on a big physical connection like sex or massage or something like that, especially if that’s not possible at the time, focus on small ways you can still share some skin-to-skin contact. Just like with alone time, doing something is better than nothing and can help you connect.
Show affection through thoughtfulness
You know your partner better than most, if not everyone. And vice versa. Take some time during the holiday season to show you care with small, thoughtful actions. Do they get overwhelmed with travel? Help with the planning and prep. Do they get annoyed talking to that Aunt Sue with her political views? Make a point to be a part of that conversation with them. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness can go a long way to helping you feel and communicate that you’re in this together. And that connection, trust, and support feel good and can help set the scene for sex later.
Get creative with intimacy
Having sex during the holidays when you’re traveling, family’s around, or you’re just out of routine can be tough. Here’s an opportunity to get a little creative! Maybe that doesn’t mean having sex with your in-laws in the next room, maybe it does, whatever, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a little playful. Remember sex and intimacy are best when rooted in fun and enjoyment so get creative with how you show your partner you can’t wait until it’s just you two again.
The stress of the holidays will come and go, but during these, you can take advantage of new ways to connect and boost intimacy. So do some brainstorming about how you want to implement these ideas to boost connection, both sexually and otherwise, talk with your partner about these, and come back next time for the conclusion of the sex and the holidays series, where we’ll talk about some tips to manage expectations for sex and connection during the holidays.
Free Sex Therapy call in Philadelphia, PA
If you want to learn more about how the holidays impact your sex drive and desire, click here and we can set up a 15 min phone chat. I’d be happy to learn more about your individual experiences and help you figure out if sex therapy would be helpful for you. If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
