Lower desire lately? How the weather impacts you and 3 things you can do today
I’m Erinn, your couples therapist and sex therapist in Philadelphia, and today I’m here talking about something that greatly impacts sex drive and gets easily overlooked, which is the weather and changing seasons.
Watch the video here.
Changing seasons affect your sex drive
Your emotional state has a HUGE impact on your sexual state and the changing of the seasons is a natural time of transition and one that has a big emotional impact on people, especially entering fall and then winter.
Fall is great. It’s cooler, there are more activities outside, and the leaves are changing and are beautiful. Now fall tends to be a fan-favorite season, for a lot of reasons. But it also brings with it some not-so-favorable realities that can affect you emotionally. The days are getting shorter and that can be tough like when you’re getting up and it’s still dark outside. There’s just less overall sunlight, with the days being shorter, but also heading into the winter, where it’s dreary and overcast more. The weather is getting colder, which is great at first, but also means the time is coming when it’s difficult to get outside and do things.
Change in weather affects emotions, and these affect your sex drive
If you’ve been feeling a lower sex drive lately, take a second and think about your recent emotional state. How have you been feeling? Have you been more tired and less motivated lately? Are you feeling less connected to those around you? Are you just kind of overall lethargic and not feeling up to doing much? You’re not alone and this is very common, especially this time of year. And if you’re feeling that way emotionally, it makes a lot of sense that your desire has decreased as well. Because when you’re not feeling your best, your body and mind are directing energy toward what’s bringing you down, rather than what’s turning you on. They’re trying to figure out how to make you feel better, increase motivation, and feel more energy.
How to increase sex drive and desire during season change (especially fall and winter)
But there are things you can do to help with both your emotional state and in turn, your sex drive, especially during this time of year.
Get outside
There is so much research showing that spending time in nature has a ton of health benefits- it lowers blood pressure, lowers stress, increases your ability to concentrate, and more. And while all that is great, it’s also a good opportunity to get some time away and take a break. Away from your phone, computer, outside your stressful job, away from your partner who’s annoying you right now, or whatever is bogging you down. And now’s the best time to do it since the weather isn’t too cold or hot, but it’s juuust riiiight. Getting outside and feeling these health benefits can help you feel more grounded, which will help you get in a better emotional state and therefore a better sexual state.
Connect
With anyone. About anything. Call up a friend you like talking to and just chat about your day. Or send them a text letting them know you’re thinking about them. Spend a little extra time playing with your pets. Give your cashier at the grocery store a compliment. Crack a joke to your barista. Some of these may seem silly but the point here isn’t necessarily to make some deep, lasting connection. That’s great if you do but the point is to make any connection. Because even small types of connection help lower stress and are good for your mood, freeing up energy for your sex drive. So start small, pay attention to what feels good, and go from there.
Get physical
Move your body in a way that feels good to you every day. One of the reasons shifting into colder weather can be tough on people is that they can’t get outside and move as much. Or we don’t want to because it’s cold and we want to hibernate. First off, see number one for why spending time outside is great right now. Second, just do anything to move your body. This could be something intense like going to the gym, doing a fitness class, or going on a hike but it doesn’t have to be. Just like with connecting the important part is to do something. It doesn’t matter what. You could do neck stretches on your couch for 1 minute and that’s great! You’re going to be better off after those 60 seconds than you were before. And the more you do to move your body, the better your body feels, and the more sex drive you’ll have.
Doing anything is better than nothing for your desire
You may have noticed a theme here: something that can be helpful during this period is lowering the pressure to do something big and significant and just do something. Instead of thinking about what you should do or what you see others doing, think about how you could do some of these things in a way that would be enjoyable to you. Because the first step here is boosting your emotional state. So the more you enjoy these activities, the more you’ll do them and the better you’ll feel in your body. And the better you feel in your body, the better your headspace. And the better your headspace, the more energy you have to devote to sexy things and help increase that desire. So instead of being hard on yourself for feeling a lower sex drive right now and getting caught up in those judgments, try some of the things mentioned here, find what you enjoy, and the rest will get easier. Have fun!
Free Sex Therapy call in Philadelphia, PA
If you want to learn more about how your sex drive and desire are being impacted by the change in weather and sessions, click here and we can set up a 15 min phone chat. I’d be happy to learn more about your individual experiences and help you figure out if sex therapy would be helpful for you. If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
