Laughing: Why humor is important and can help you have better sex
Laughing. We all know how good it feels to genuinely laugh at something. But did you know that laughing can also lead to better sex, sex drive, and desire?
I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia sex therapist and couples therapist, and I’m here to tell you why laughing in the bedroom can lead to better sex.
Benefits of Laughing and How These Lead to Better Sex
Think about the last time you had a really good laugh about something. I’m talking about the eyes watering, stomach hurting, can’t breathe kind of laugh. And think about how good you felt afterward. Laughing feels good and it’s enjoyable. It can change your mood, make you feel lighter, and has been shown to have many short and long-term benefits.
The reason laughing during sex is important is because your brain makes all sorts of associations all day long. The more negative, unsatisfying sexual experiences you have, the more your brain associates sex with something to be avoided. This impacts your sex drive, desire (or appetite for sex), and experience during sex. But the opposite is also true. The more you enjoy sex, the more positively it gets encoded in your brain, the more you want to seek it out. Long story short, laughter can lead to better sex, increased sex drive, and more desire.
But laughing during sex may feel a little weird or foreign. That’s natural. Sex is often talked about in a serious way so incorporating more lightheartedness can feel odd. But lean into that discomfort because it really can change your experience with sex. Laughing affects your sexual response because it affects your physical and mental health, and they’re all closely linked. Laughing during sex can lead to less stress and help alleviate pressure. It can allow you to feel more playful, comfortable, and present. Just make sure you’re laughing with your partner, and they know you’re not laughing at them.
5 Ways Laughing is Good for Sex Drive and Desire
Manage Stress Response
Laughing can help you manage your stress response. If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know I’m a huge advocate of managing your stress response because it’s a killer for sexual response. At first, laughing increases things like blood pressure and heart rate, but then your body’s system automatically calms itself. This naturally helps you complete the stress response so you can feel more relaxed. And the more relaxed your stress response is, the more your sex drive can kick on, and the better sex you can be having. For more info on the sex and stress relationship, check out The Stress Response: Is it causing your low sex drive?
Decrease Muscle Tension
Another benefit of laughing and managing the stress response is it helps you relax tense muscles. A lot of us carry tension in our neck and shoulders, which leads to things like back and headaches. And these get in the way of sex drive and desire. But a good laugh helps stimulate blood flow, which is good for those tense muscles and helps them relax and feel more at ease. And for good sex, you want to be comfortable and let go of tension. This helps you be present. The more tense and stressed you are during sex, the less enjoyable your experience is going to be. And there’s a compounding effect of laughing on decreasing tension: the more you laugh, the more relaxed you’ll feel, the better the sex, and orgasms lead to even more tension relief!
Stimulate Blood Flow
Laughing stimulates blood flow because it helps manage the stress response. Are you seeing a theme here?? And blood flow is important for sexual response. Stimulating more blood flow through laughing has benefits for your whole body. But specifically with sex, this leads to more blood flow to your genitals. And more blood flow to the genitals leads to better erections and lubrication, more intense sensations, increased pleasure, and therefore better sex.
Increase Connection
Laughing helps us make and deepen social connections and regulate emotions. Laughing is contagious and helps bond us to those around us. The more you laugh and enjoy yourself, the more others around you will feel that energy, and vice versa. Laughing with your partner during sex can help you maintain more playfulness and feel more connected. It can also help you not take yourself too seriously and get caught up in things that impact connection during sex: body image, judgments about performance, how quickly you get aroused or orgasm, and so on. So, if laughing helps you feel more comfort, connection, and engagement, it’s no wonder why it leads to better sex.
Boost Mood and Energy
When you laugh your body releases all sorts of feel-good chemicals. These reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, and more. If left unchecked, these things can really hinder sex drive and desire. They can cause a more stressed, anxious energy during sex. This not only impacts your experience during sex but also decreases the chances you’ll seek it out in the first place. Laughing can also help improve outlook and self-esteem. It can help you feel more energized and a more positive kind of energy. The more energy you feel, and the better you feel about yourself, the better sex you’ll be having.
Laugh During Sex for Better Sex
Sometimes funny things happen during sex. Friction between body parts makes a funny noise. A position you try is a hopeless failure. The dog walks in and is confused about the noises you’re making and jumps up to investigate. Instead of letting the awkwardness of these situations distract you, embrace the laugh! Let yourself laugh when something is funny. Encourage your partner to do the same. The more fun you have, the more positive your experience. The more positive your experience, the more you’ll want to seek it out again. It turns into a positive feedback loop. Thinking of sex as stressful or disappointing isn’t going to make you want to seek it out. This leads to low sex drive and desire. But associating sex with play, laughter, and connection can drive you toward it. And these are what lead to increased sex drive, more desire, and better sex.
Free Sex Therapy call in Philadelphia, PA
If you’re interested in learning more about how laughing can lead to better sex and desire, click here and we can set up a 15 min phone chat. I’d be happy to learn more about your individual experiences and help you figure out how to choose the best sex therapist for you. If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
