10 Questions to Ask a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia, PA

So you’re interested in sex therapy. Amazing!

Maybe you’ve even done some research online and found a few lucky sex therapists that look good. But now what? Since they all seem good, how do you know which one is going to be the right fit for you? What do you even ask to figure this out??

How do you know what questions to ask a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia, PA?

First off, recognize you’ve already done a TON! There are thousands of therapists in the Philly area alone and finding a few sex therapists you’re interested in is already a win. Now the fun part: seeing if you like them! There are a bunch of questions you can ask to help get a feel of what it would be like working with these therapists.

10 questions to ask a sex therapist in Philadelphia, PA:

Question #1: Do you offer a free phone call?

This is your best friend! Someone’s website can look great and say all the right things and then you meet them and something just…isn’t there. How you feel about your sex therapist is so important because if you’re not comfortable, this whole process is a lot harder for you. Get potential therapists on the phone or a video chat to get a feel for what kind of vibe they give you.

Question #2: Do you offer online sessions? In-person? Hybrid?

Nowadays there are many great ways to engage in therapy. Be upfront with potential sex therapists about how you’d like to engage in services and see what they offer. If you feel strongly about a certain type of service, say that. If not, say that too. Gather more info so you can assess your options and make the best choice for yourself.

Question #3: Do you take my insurance?

This is typically listed on sex therapists’ websites, profiles, etc. but things change, so ask! Have your insurance card ready in case they ask for more info. Insurance is great for a lot of things, but be aware it can limit your access to providers, especially with private or very niched practices (aka sex therapy). Remember: finding the right therapist fit is the most important part of this process. Even a $20 copay is too much to spend on crappy therapy with someone you don’t mesh well with. Weigh the pros and cons of spending more/less money against spending more/less time and energy, and be upfront with potential therapists about which is more important to you.

Question #4: What is your fee?

Payment is important so don’t shy away from it. Good therapy is an investment (in more ways than one!) so ask questions. Many private practice sex therapists don’t take insurance but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t use your benefits. Ask your insurance company about out-of-network coverage, and ask potential therapists how they can help navigate that process. Keep in mind: any time you use out-of-network benefits your insurance company can request your records so keep this in mind if confidentiality is top of your list.

Question #5: What is scheduling like?

Some sex therapists have set schedules where you get a specific time slot every week until you finish therapy. Some have rolling schedules where you schedule week by week and it’s first come, first serve. Consider your schedule, organizational style, and how you keep track of things and look for a therapist that matches this. Schedule therapy into your life, don’t schedule your life around therapy.

Question #6: What kind of skills do you have to help with the issues I’m experiencing?

Don’t be afraid to ask potential sex therapists about their style and skills. This will give you a better idea of the tools they use, how they use them in the room, and how they’ve helped others with these issues. Think about what’s been helpful and ask if they use techniques like this. Love breathing exercises? Mindfulness? Calling attention to unhelpful patterns? Building on what helps/what you enjoy can help with your motivation so ask if/how they incorporate these.

Question #7: What is the first sex therapy session like?

First sessions can range from detailed questions about your history to being open-ended and just talking about whatever’s on your mind. Asking a potential therapist how they structure this will give you an idea of how they go about gathering information. This can give you an idea of their style and how to best prepare for the start of therapy so you can feel as comfortable as possible and get maximum benefits.

Question #8: How long do you typically work with someone?

This helps give you an idea of the pacing. Some therapists do really in-depth, emotionally intense work that takes time. Some do task-oriented, solutions-focused work that tends to be shorter. And there are a million styles in between. Consider the work you’d like to do and the time and energy necessary for this. Remember: no formula can tell you how long it will take to achieve your goals. Everyone progresses differently and at their own pace. But asking about this can help you get an idea of the typical length of stay with potential sex therapists.

Question #9: How would I be able to tell this process is working?

Remember change takes time and there’s no magic pill or overnight fix for real change. AND it’s important to know if/how this process is working for you. The goal of any good therapist should be to help you achieve outcomes and then send you on your way. Begin with the end in mind. Asking potential sex therapists about this will give you an idea of how they track/measure progress and how they help clients stay on track and celebrate wins.

Question #10: What happens if a sex therapist isn’t a good fit?

No matter who you choose, you’re not locked in. Many factors influence how you feel about a therapist: their personality, style, clinical tools, sense of humor, communication, etc. It can take some trial and error to find the best sex therapist for you. Asking potential therapists about this will give you an idea of how they handle this process and how they can help support you if it isn’t working.

Free sex therapy intro call in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I hope this helps you find the best sex therapist for you in Philadelphia, PA. If you’re still feeling stuck or would like more guidance on what to ask click here to schedule a 15 min phone chat. I’d love to hear what the process has been like and help get you synced up with an awesome fit. If you’re looking for individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, click these links to learn more about how I can help.

My specialties include low desire, differential desires, low libido, sexual communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.