5 FAQs about Sex Therapy in Philadelphia, PA

What is sex therapy? How do I learn more?

Through your therapy search, you may have come across therapists offering sex therapy. Or maybe you’re specifically seeking out this service. Either way, you may be wondering what exactly is sex therapy, how is it different from other therapy, and how to know if it’s right for you.

If you’re considering sex therapy and looking for more info to help you navigate the process, check out these common FAQs to learn more.

5 common FAQs about sex therapy in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Question #1: How do I know if sex therapy is right for me?

Sex therapy can be helpful if you’ve been frustrated and struggling to have good sex for a while, but struggle to talk about this. You may feel like what you’re doing isn’t helping, and may even be making things worse. This might cause even more stress and anxiety about sex. Ah, now you’re stuck in the loop! Sex, desire, and sex drive are important parts of life and show up differently for everyone. And we all have a different comfort level with discussing sex (even therapists), but sex therapists have the training and tools to help you get comfortable discussing the uncomfortable. They can help you learn to talk about sex, how it's affecting you, why focusing only on the sex hasn’t worked, and what can.

Question #2: How is sex therapy different from plain ole regular therapy?

Sex therapy can feel very similar to good ole regular mental health therapy. You’ll still be talking about your thoughts, emotions, relationships, stressors, etc. But a bonus with sex therapy is you get to think and talk about all this through a sex lens! This includes things like desire, sex drive, low libido, ways to increase sex drive, sexual desire, and more. Sex therapists take a look at the whole picture and can help you see how different pieces of the puzzle fit together. For example, how your stressors have a physical impact on you, which can impact how well you sleep, which impacts your connection/patience with partners, which impacts sex. It’s all connected! Think of sex therapists as looking at the same picture as general mental health therapists, just through a sex lens. If one of your top goals is having better sex, this may be a helpful place for you to start. The sooner you understand how it all connects, the sooner you can start shifting things and making (sexy) moves.

Question #3: What if I’m not having sex right now? Does that mean sex therapy isn’t for me?

An active sex life not a requirement of sex therapy. Actually, it’s usually the opposite! People come to sex therapy because they’re not happy with the lack of sex, desire, sex drive, or intimate connection they currently have. Exploring this area for yourself during a time when sex isn’t happening can be helpful. Typically, once people start to feel sexual stress or anxiety, they try to power through or fake it ‘til they make it, which isn’t super effective. This can actually lead to lower sex drive, low libido, and desire issues. And then you can get stuck in a negative loop (the more I try, the worse I feel). Exploring your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, desires, etc. without the current pressure of sex can help you get to know your sexual side better, leading to more desire, sex drive, increased libido, and having better sex whenever the opportunities arise.

Question #4: How can sex therapy help me as an individual service? Does that even work??

“Erinn, how can I work on sex by myself when I’m not the only one in the room?” Great question. The answer is that regardless of how many people are in the room, no one is a mind reader. If you don’t know what you like sexually, how to ask for that, and how to manage sexual stress and anxiety (and general stress and anxiety), you’re not going to have a great time. It’s important to know thyself first. That might mean working to better manage stressors so you can relax during sex. It might mean learning more about desire, how this impacts libido, and what you can do to increase sex drive. Or it might mean working to feel more connected to your partner, both in and outside the bedroom. A perk of individual sex therapy is you can explore what you’re thinking, feeling, lacking, etc. without fear of hurting your partner. Lack of attraction? Less desire? Less connected? You can explore all this openly in 1:1 sex therapy. And getting to know your sexual self better helps you share this side of you with a partner so you can relax, be present, and enjoy yourself more during sex.

Question #5: How do I know if sex therapy is right for me and my partner?

Sex therapy can be really helpful if you and your partner have difficulty talking about sex but wants things to be different. If you’re like the majority of people, you didn’t grow up feeling comfortable talking about sex. That doesn’t just magically change once you’re in a relationship and having sex. If either of you feels nervous, shy, awkward, or uncomfortable talking about sex, a sex therapist can help you put your thoughts into words, find ways to communicate about sex that work for you both and help you navigate the process together. Sex therapy can also be helpful if you feel like you’ve been trying together to fix the issue, but feel like you haven’t made much progress. Getting an outside perspective can help you both see where you continue to be stuck and what shifts can help with desire, sex drive, and libido.

Important note: It can be difficult to fully engage in sex therapy if there are major issues with things like communication and trust. These lay the foundation necessary for building a better sex life together. High conflict couples tend to benefit from working on more foundational issues first and then adding in sex therapy.

Free sex therapy intro call in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I hope this helps you find the right sex therapist for you in Philadelphia, PA. To read more FAQs about sex therapy (and therapy in general), click here. If you’re still wondering if sex therapy is right for you click here to schedule a free 15 min phone chat. I’d love to hear your thoughts and help you figure out if this process is right for you. If you’re looking for individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, click these links to learn more about how I can help.

My specialties include low desire, differential desires, low libido, sexual communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.