Why Your Unbalanced Stress Hormones—Not You—Are Causing Low Libido: Insights from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia Sex Therapist & Relationship Coach, here to help with low libido.
It’s not you, it’s your stress hormones causing low libido
Your Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve seen countless women facing challenges with low libido and intimacy issues and how isolating and scary that can feel. Am I not attracted to my husband anymore? Is something wrong with me? Why can’t I figure this out on my own?
Many of my clients come to me feeling overwhelmed, wondering if they’re broken. But here’s the truth: It’s not you. It’s the impact of unbalanced stress hormones that’s affecting your body, mind, and relationship and effectively shutting off your libido, making it impossible to get in the mood. So, let’s talk about how stress hormones disrupt intimacy, how they cause low libido, and actionable steps you can take today to help you rebalance your hormones and rediscover connection in your relationship.
The Link Between Hormonal Stress, Low Libido, and Intimacy: A Sex Therapist’s Perspective
You might be wondering how hormonal stress relates to low libido and impacts intimacy. When stress hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline, are elevated for extended periods, it creates an imbalance that affects nearly every aspect of well-being, from energy to mood and especially libido. Elevated cortisol levels send signals to the body that it’s in survival mode, which deprioritizes the need for relaxation, arousal, and connection.
As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve seen firsthand how high cortisol and unbalanced stress hormones can turn intimacy into an overwhelming experience, making even small gestures like a hug or a kiss feel daunting for fear they’ll lead to stress. And now suddenly sex is causing guilt, resentment, and feels like a chore.
My Journey with Low Libido and Hormonal Stress: From a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
There was a time when I personally felt the impact of unbalanced stress hormones on intimacy. Every touch from my partner felt loaded with expectation, and I didn’t know why. I was constantly exhausted, on edge, and I’d lie awake at night wondering what was wrong with me. My low libido was affecting my relationship, but I was trying to push through and pretend everything was fine because I was terrified I was the problem. But I later learned that the root issue wasn’t me at all, it was my hormonal stress affecting my responses.
Once I started to rebalance my stress hormones, everything changed. I could finally relax, breathe, and actually enjoy cuddling again without worrying it’d lead to more, and that had felt impossible before. Now, as a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I help other women achieve the same transformation, empowering them to enjoy closeness in their relationships again.
5 Tips from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia to Rebalance Hormones and Improve Low Libido
If you’re feeling exhausted, guilty, or resentful, these five steps can help you rebalance your stress hormones and start experiencing intimacy as something joyful rather than overwhelming.
Prioritize Quality Sleep to Improve Low Libido
Sleep is when your system resets so lack of quality sleep can keep stress hormones elevated and make it difficult to balance your body’s needs. Poor sleep is linked to increased cortisol levels, which contribute to low libido and leave you feeling exhausted. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night to allow your body time to repair and reset, which naturally supports hormone balance.
Try this: Dedicate at least 30 minutes before bed to calming activities like reading or deep breathing. No electronics allowed! Creating a bedtime routine can help signal your body that it’s time to wind down, helping to balance cortisol levels and promote intimacy.
Exercise to Rebalance Hormonal Stress
Physical movement is a powerful way to rebalance stress hormones and can be tailored to your body’s needs. Exercise such as walking, yoga, or even stretching is excellent for lowering cortisol and supporting a healthy libido, especially if you’re feeling particularly sensitive to stress. However, if you feel you need a stronger outlet, incorporating higher-intensity workouts—like interval training, strength training, or going for a run—can also be beneficial. Just listen to your body, as intense workouts can sometimes spike cortisol temporarily, so balance them with gentler activities throughout the week.
Try this: Start with a 20-minute walk outdoors each day to reduce cortisol naturally and lift your mood. If you’re craving a more intense session, add a few days of strength training or interval workouts, but be sure to mix in calming exercises like yoga or deep stretching to keep your stress hormones balanced.
Practice Mindfulness and Deep Breathing to Manage Stress Hormones
Chronic stress keeps your body in fight-or-flight mode, which perpetuates high cortisol levels and worsens low libido. Practicing mindfulness and deep breathing encourages your body’s relaxation response, allowing your mind and body to let down their guard and reestablish a state of calm. This also promotes better sleep (see #1 for why this is important!).
Try this: Spend five minutes each day doing deep breathing exercises. Inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold for four. Repeat 10 times. This technique helps to regulate your nervous system, decrease cortisol, and rebalance stress hormones.
Set Boundaries to Reduce Hormonal Stress and Support Intimacy
Constantly being “on” can keep cortisol levels elevated and harm intimacy. Setting boundaries, particularly around work or household responsibilities, helps create a clear division between stressful activities and relaxation, supporting both hormonal balance and low libido.
Try this: Identify one or two daily “non-negotiable” boundaries to protect your relaxation time. For instance, set a boundary around work emails by deciding not to check them after a certain hour, or establish a specific time each evening to pause all household tasks. Use this boundary-protected time to engage in activities that genuinely recharge you—whether that’s reading, stretching, or simply unwinding. Giving yourself permission to be “off” helps lower cortisol and creates space for meaningful connection with your partner.
Fuel Your Body with Nutrient-Dense Foods to Rebalance Stress Hormones
Diet has a profound effect on stress hormones and low libido. Foods high in sugar and refined carbs can spike cortisol, which disrupts your body’s hormonal balance. Opt for nutrient-dense foods such as lean proteins, leafy greens, and complex carbohydrates that keep your blood sugar stable and support hormonal health.
Try this: Incorporate foods like salmon, avocado, and spinach into your meals. These nutrient-rich foods support your body’s hormone balance and energy levels, which can positively affect libido.
Taking the Next Step: How a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia Can Help with Low Libido
By focusing on rebalancing stress hormones, you’re not just improving your libido—you’re actively building a stronger, healthier relationship with yourself and your partner. Imagine feeling at ease in your own skin, enjoying affection without hesitation, and being able to reconnect on a deeper level and bring back the excitement of the early days.
As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I specialize in helping women navigate the effects of hormonal stress on low libido and intimacy. I’m here to offer guidance, strategies, and support that are uniquely tailored to your journey.
If you’re ready to explore how to bring calm, balance, and connection back into your relationship, reach out to discover the path forward. Remember, it’s not you—it’s your stress hormones, and together we can find a way to restore the balance, not only with your hormones, but in your relationship.
Increase Low Libido Now: Download my FREE guide from your favorite Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
