Why Exhaustion Is Taking Over Your Sex Life—and How to Get It Back: Your Philadelphia Sex Therapist
I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia Sex Therapist & Coach and today I’m letting you in on the secret of why you choose sleep over sex at the end of the day.
Why You’d Rather Sleep Than Have Sex:
Your Philadelphia Sex Therapist
When Sleep Feels More Appealing Than Sex
If you're a woman in your 30s struggling with low libido, you might find yourself frequently choosing sleep over sex. It’s not just about having a low sex drive; it’s often a sign of something deeper— nervous system exhaustion.
This is a common issue that many women face, particularly those balancing demanding careers, family responsibilities, and the daily grind. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone; there’s nothing wrong with you. Understanding how fatigue affects your libido and what you can do about it is essential in taking the first step and taking back control of your sex life.
Fatigue and Libido: Understanding the Connection
Fatigue plays a significant role in diminishing your sex drive. When you’re exhausted, your body suppresses the release of sex hormones, making it nearly impossible to feel aroused or in the mood for intimacy. It’s like trying to eat when you’re not the least bit hungry—technically, you can do it, but it’s far less enjoyable and satisfying. This physiological response is completely normal, but it can lead to feelings like of inadequacy or guilt, particularly if your partner misunderstands your lack of interest as rejection.
Debunking Myths: You're Not Making Excuses
One of the biggest misconceptions is that women with low libido are simply making excuses to avoid sex. However, the reality is that your body is functioning exactly as it should under the circumstances. When you’re tired, your energy reserves are low, and your body prioritizes rest and recovery over activities like sex. This doesn’t mean you’re no longer attracted to your partner, your relationship is doomed, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re broken; it just means your body needs to recharge.
4 Tips to Reignite Your Desire: For When You’re Rather Sleep Than Have Sex
So, how can you work with your body to rekindle your desire? Here are some practical steps:
Prioritize Sleep
Sleep is crucial for your overall well-being, including your sex life. So if you want to WANT sex again, aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. If you’re well-rested, your body will have the energy it needs to support a healthy libido.
Change the Timing
If nighttime is when you’re most exhausted, try not to force yourself into being intimate during those hours. Instead, consider when you’re likely to have more energy, such as on weekends, during a vacation, or even during the day if possible. Communicate with your husband about adjusting your intimacy to best set you both up for success.
Reduce Stress
Chronic stress is another libido killer. Incorporate stress-relief practices into your routine, such as yoga, meditation, or even short daily walks. Reducing your stress levels can make it easier for you to relax and feel more open to intimacy. This does wonders for you activated nervous system too.
Join the Exclusive Community
If you’re still struggling, join our exclusive community designed for women like you. In this supportive space, you’ll connect with others who are navigating similar challenges, get support, and have access to expert advice and resources to help you rekindle your desire and strengthen your relationship.
Most Importantly: You’re Not Alone
If you’ve been choosing sleep over sex, it’s important to recognize that while this is a common issue and there’s nothing inherently wrong with you, it means your hormones are off and unfortunately, this isn’t something that resolves on its own. But the good news is that there are simple, easy changes you can make to get these back under control, get your sex drive back, and get back on the same team in your marriage.
Understanding the role that exhaustion plays in your sex life is the first step toward making positive changes. By prioritizing rest, communicating with your partner, and seeking professional guidance if needed, you can reclaim your desire and strengthen your connection with your partner.
I want to hear from you: Have you ever chosen sleep over sex? If so, share your experience in the comments below. Let’s start a conversation about how to balance exhaustion and intimacy.
P.S. Remember, your libido isn’t broken—it just needs care and understanding. Stay tuned for more tips on rekindling your desire and connecting deeply with your partner.
Discover How to Increase Low Sex Drive with this Free Guide from a Philadelphia Sex Therapist
If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
