How a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia Recommends Planning a Connection Date to Overcome Low Desire
I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia Sex Therapist & Intimacy Coach and I’m here today to help you reignite desire and passion in your marriage without the pressure or guilt.
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your husband or overwhelmed by the pressures of intimacy, you’re not alone. Many women experience low desire, and as a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve seen how this can put strain on even the most loving relationships. The good news? Rebuilding intimacy doesn’t need to start in the bedroom. One powerful way to foster closeness and reignite your bond is by planning a connection date—a time dedicated to emotional intimacy without the expectation of sex.
Below I guide you through how to plan a connection date that works for both you and your husband, helping you to feel more connected, understood, and in sync.
Why Planning a Connection Date is Important, According to a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
When you're experiencing low desire, the idea of initiating intimacy can feel like just another chore on your already long to-do list. This is especially true if sex has started to feel more like an obligation than something you look forward to and joy. The pressure to "perform" often creates a cycle where the less you want it, the more distant you feel from your husband—and the more distant you feel, the harder it is to reignite desire.
As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve found that one of the best ways to break this cycle is through intentional connection that focuses on emotional closeness, not sex. A connection date is the perfect way to do just that. By creating a space for you and your husband to connect emotionally, you remove the pressure of physical intimacy, making it easier for libido to naturally return.
Step-by-Step Guide to Planning a Connection Date to Combat Low Desire
Choose a Time That Works for Both of You
The first step in planning a successful connection date is finding a time that works for both of you. As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I recommend choosing a time when you won’t be rushed or distracted. Weekends might be a great option, or perhaps an evening during the week when you can both wind down and focus on each other. The key is to schedule it like you would any other important event—because it is.
Once the date is set, protect that time. This is your opportunity to prioritize each other and your relationship, which is crucial when dealing with low desire.
Set the Scene for Emotional Connection
Creating the right atmosphere for your connection date is key. You want the environment to feel comfortable, relaxed, and free of distractions. Here are a few ideas:
Turn off your phones: Nothing kills connection faster than notifications interrupting your time together. Consider leaving your phones in another room to be fully present with each other.
Dim the lights or light candles: A calm, cozy atmosphere can help set the mood for emotional intimacy.
Play music: Choose music that you both enjoy and that sets a relaxing or fun tone.
Comfortable seating: Whether it’s cuddling on the couch or sitting face-to-face, make sure you’re both comfortable so you can focus on each other.
As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve seen how a simple change in environment can make a big difference in how connected you feel. The goal is to create a space where you can relax and enjoy each other’s company without the expectation of sex.
Engage in Activities that Foster Connection (No Pressure for Sex)
The beauty of a connection date is that it allows you to spend quality time together without the pressure of intimacy leading to sex. Here are a few ideas for what to do on your connection date:
Have a deep conversation: Talk about things that matter to both of you. Ask open-ended questions to learn more about each other’s thoughts and feelings.
Do something fun together: Whether it’s playing a game, cooking a meal together, or going for a walk, engaging in a shared activity can help bring back that feeling of teamwork and playfulness.
Cuddle or give each other a massage: Physical affection doesn’t have to lead to sex. Simple touch can help you feel more connected and comfortable with each other again.
The goal is to reconnect emotionally and have fun together. When you feel emotionally close, the pressure for sex decreases, making it more likely for desire to return on its own.
Be Open About Your Needs
During your connection date, it’s important to be open and honest about how you’re feeling. If you’re struggling with low desire, let your husband know that it’s not about him—it’s about rebuilding intimacy and taking the pressure off. Share what you need from him to feel more connected, whether that’s more emotional support, more quality time, or simply a little patience as you work through this together.
As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I encourage couples to see these conversations as opportunities to strengthen their relationship, rather than as something to fear. Being vulnerable and open with each other builds trust, which is the foundation for both emotional and physical intimacy.
Plan for Regular Connection Dates
To truly combat low desire, make connection dates a regular part of your routine. This isn’t a one-and-done solution—it’s about creating consistent opportunities for emotional intimacy. The more you connect on a deeper level, the more natural desire will feel when it returns.
Consider setting up a standing date—whether it’s once a week or a couple of times a month. As a sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve seen the positive impact that regular connection dates can have on relationships. They reduce stress, increase communication, and bring the fun and excitement back into the relationship.
How a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia Can Help You Navigate Low Desire
If you’re still struggling with low desire, remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. As a sex therapist in Philadelphia and online intimacy Coach, I specialize in helping women who are dealing with low libido and the pressures that come with it. Whether you’re unsure how to reconnect with your husband or need personalized strategies to rebuild desire, I’m here to help.
Planning connection dates is just one of many steps you can take to improve your relationship and bring back the intimacy you’ve been missing. With the right tools, patience, and a little guidance, you can reignite the spark in your relationship and start enjoying intimacy again.
Take the First Step Toward Rebuilding Intimacy
Planning a connection date is a powerful way to rebuild emotional intimacy and reduce the pressure surrounding sex. By focusing on quality time, deep conversations, and fun activities, you’ll create an environment where you both can feel connected without the pressure of physical intimacy, and bring back the magic of the early days.
If you’re ready to take the next step, reach out! Together, we can create a plan that works for you, helping you feel more connected and excited about your relationship.
Discover How to Increase Low Desire: Download my FREE guide from your favorite Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
