Low Desire? Here’s How to Reconnect and Stop Feeling Broken from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia Sex Therapist & Coach and today I’m helping you see you’re NOT broken.
Reconnect & Revive Low Desire: Your Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
It’s mid-afternoon, and you’ve just sat down to tackle that never-ending mountain of laundry. As you fold each piece, your mind drifts back to last night…
He reached for you, and like so many times before, you pulled away. You mumbled something about being tired, but the real reason ran much deeper. You saw the hurt in his eyes, and now that heavy, familiar feeling of guilt sits squarely on your chest. “Am I broken? Why can’t I fix this?”
As you scroll through social media, you see friends laughing about their "spicy" date nights, and it only makes you feel worse. You’re not laughing. You’re tired—tired of pretending, tired of feeling like you’re missing something, and tired of feeling like you’re just not enough.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. As a sexual wellness coach and sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve helped many women who feel overwhelmed by low desire in their relationships. The fear that something is wrong with you can be paralyzing. But here’s the truth: You are NOT broken.
Why You’re Not Broken: Insights from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
Low desire doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. What’s happening is that stress, exhaustion, and the weight of life’s daily demands are smothering your ability to connect emotionally and physically. When your body is running on empty, it’s impossible to feel desire. But the good news? Desire isn’t gone forever—it’s just buried, waiting to be uncovered.
That feeling of disconnection, the pulling away, and the constant guilt all stem from a belief that you’re flawed. But when you take care of yourself emotionally and physically outside the bedroom, things start to shift inside the bedroom too.
As an online sex coach and sex therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve seen countless women rekindle their desire once they stop believing they’re broken and start focusing on the root causes of low desire—stress, exhaustion, and the pressure of daily life.
Shifting from Fear to Connection: Overcoming Low Desire
Now, imagine a different scenario...
It’s mid-afternoon again, but today feels different. Instead of the usual stress and guilt clouding your mind, you’re thinking back to last night with a smile.
Your husband reached for you, and this time, instead of pulling away, you leaned in. There was no knot in your stomach, no feeling of dread. Instead, you felt connected—both emotionally and physically. That heavy burden of guilt you’ve been carrying for so long? It’s not there anymore. You finally know: you’re not broken.
This is what’s possible when you start shifting your mindset. It’s not about “fixing” yourself; it’s about understanding how stress and overwhelm have been playing a role in your relationship and learning how to take action, even when it feels scary.
Tips from a Sex Therapist in Philadelphia to Stop Feeling Broken and Reignite Your Desire
Start Small by Focusing on Connection
Intimacy doesn’t have to begin (and shouldn’t begin) in the bedroom. Tonight, set aside just 5 minutes to sit with your partner, without distractions. Put your phones away, sit together, and just chat—without diving into the day’s stress. This simple act of listening and being present can spark a deeper emotional connection.
Create a Wind-Down Routine
Before you head to bed, give yourself 10 minutes to relax. Light a candle, dim the lights, and reflect on three things that went well today—no matter how small. Shifting your focus to the positive helps reset your mindset, allowing you to enter the evening feeling lighter and more open to connection.
Practice Compassion Toward Yourself
You’re not broken, and you’re not failing. The more you show yourself kindness and understanding (instead of beating yourself up for not being in the mood), the easier it becomes to feel secure in your relationship and your body. Take a moment to remind yourself that healing takes time, and that’s okay.
Communicate Your Needs
Sometimes, low desire is a result of unspoken expectations or needs that aren’t being met. Open up to your partner about how you’ve been feeling. Vulnerability can be scary, but letting your partner in on what you’re experiencing can strengthen your emotional connection, helping both of you feel more understood.
Join a Supportive Community
Healing and reconnection don’t have to happen in isolation. Being part of a supportive group of women who are going through similar struggles can make all the difference. Surrounding yourself with others who understand what you’re facing helps you feel less alone and more empowered to take steps forward. Not sure where to start? This community is my favorite.
Your Dream Life Is Within Reach: Moving Past Low Desire
Now, picture your ideal day…
It’s no longer filled with self-doubt, fear, or guilt. You’ve learned how to reconnect with your husband emotionally without the weight of feeling broken. You’re no longer pretending to be asleep at night or avoiding his touch. Instead, intimacy flows naturally because you’ve worked on healing outside the bedroom, so everything feels easier inside the bedroom.
You’ve let go of the belief that you’re broken. And now, instead of fear, you feel peace.
This shift is possible for you, and it all begins with changing the way you talk to yourself. You are not broken—you just need to reconnect with yourself and your partner. And with a little patience, support, and self-compassion, that dream life can be yours.
Discover How to Increase Low Desire: Download your FREE guide now from your Sex Therapist in Philadelphia
If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.
My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
