5 Tips to Optimize Online Sex Therapy in Philadelphia, PA
Right now there are a ton of different ways to seek out sex therapy, which is awesome.
Some sex therapists are meeting in person, some are fully remote, and some offer a mix of both. Online therapy can be a great option, and it can feel a little bit different than being in the room together. If you’re considering online sex therapy and want to learn some tips and tricks to make the most of this experience, keep reading!
For starters, online therapy, or telehealth, can be a really great option if you’re seeking help from a specialist, like a sex therapist.
You’re no longer bound by geography and can seek out other providers throughout the state, or even in surrounding states based on the therapist’s license! Finding the right therapist is the most important thing you can do to ensure you get the best outcomes possible. So having more flexibility in sex therapists you can choose from, and where they’re located, can help you find that perfect fit.
I’ve done some trial and erroring during online sex therapy so you don’t have to. Learn from my mistakes and check out these 5 tips for optimizing online sex therapy for you.
Note- these tips are for engaging in audio/video online sessions. These can result in better outcomes for online sessions- keep reading to learn why.
5 Tips to Optimize Online Sex Therapy:
Tip #1: Remember, this is still sex therapy, just from home
In today’s world, we can do a lot of things from home, like work, school, and therapy, in addition to just resting, relaxing, and living. While it can be more comfortable engaging in sex therapy from home (see tip #5), it’s important to remember that you’re still in a therapy session during our time together. This means it’s important to set aside this time, free of distractions. Don’t try to do your laundry or bake a cake at the same time as the session. If you have a pet, make sure they’re fed, let out, etc. before your session.
It can be tempting to try multi-tasking since you’re at home, but these all create distractions and make it harder for you to stay focused. It can also be tempting to, say, run errands while you’re on the phone with your therapist. So much productivity! But in reality, both tasks are distracting from each other. Driving, running errands, or doing any other activities during sex therapy sessions are distracting and can impede your progress. Whatever task is tempting you, wait to focus on that until the online therapy session is over.
It can also be helpful to present yourself the same way you would if going into an office. I think we can all relate to how different it feels lounging in sweats vs. putting on clothes to leave the house, go to work, work out, etc. This is no different. How you dress can affect your mental state so dress comfortably, but come fully dressed in something that helps you feel more motivated.
Tip #2: Set up your online therapy sessions in a private, quiet space
Sex therapy is a personal process, just like any therapy. So it’s important to have a private space where you can feel comfortable talking freely, without worrying about someone overhearing you. I wouldn’t do therapy in an office with other people just lounging in the room listening in, and engaging in online sex therapy sessions should be the same. Consider closing doors and windows if others are around to give you more privacy. If someone is there or you don’t have privacy, let your sex therapist know and you can brainstorm options together. Having a quiet space is also important because your mic will pick up background noise, and this can make it harder for your sex therapist to hear you. Some background noise is to be expected (traffic, pipes, dog barking next door, etc.). Be mindful of what’s going on around you and try to find as quiet a place as possible. Wearing headphones can help cut down on noise also, along with helping you hear your sex therapist better.
Tip #3: Make sure you have adequate lighting for online therapy
I want to see you! And I want you to see me! Some therapists offer phone-only sessions, but I feel like a lot is lost during ongoing sex therapy without having visual cues from each other. Online therapy sessions should feel as close to in-person as possible so you can feel connected and get the most out of it. Your sex therapist can learn more about what’s going on when they have more information, which they can get from listening and seeing you. It’s also a whole lot easier to stay engaged and be present when you can see the person you’re talking to. That way, they’re not some anonymous voice, but a real person you’re connecting with. This is one of the most important aspects of sex therapy (therapeutic connection) so turn on a light or sit in front of a window so we can see each other!
Pro-tip when it comes to video: hide your self-view. It can be really distracting to see yourself on video. Since we typically don’t see ourselves through video often, it’s tempting for us to look at ourselves, evaluate our appearance, or watch ourselves as were talking. This can be a huge distraction, especially if you’re not thrilled by how you appear on camera. To minimize this distraction, on almost all video platforms there’s an option to hide your self-view. Doing this helps you stay focused on your sex therapist and feel more comfortable and similar to in-person conversations.
Tip #4: Set your device on a stable surface and plug it in
As much as I enjoyed a good roller coaster back in the day, I don’t want to be on one during our session. This can happen if you’re holding your device but also talking with your hands. Again, it should feel as similar to in-person as possible. Set yourself up with an awesome therapy space so you don’t have to think about the camera, angle, etc. and your device can simply do the work for you. Use a desk, table, or somewhere stable where you can set the device comfortably in front of you and you don’t have to hold it. That way, you don’t have to think about it and just get to be present and engage in the convo. Also, ensure your device is fully charged or plug it in during your online therapy sessions. This decreases the chances of disruptions so your sex therapy session can go smoothly without distractions.
Pro tip- If you’re having issues with internet connection, consider how close you are to your internet modem. The closer you are, the better your connection, so try to set up near it if possible. You can also consider things like plugging into the internet (instead of using wifi) or getting a wifi extender.
Tip #5: Enjoy the online therapy environment!
One of the best perks of online therapy is you can access it from the comfort of home. You don’t have to worry about traffic, finding parking, spending extra time in your day getting to/from therapy, etc. It can also make scheduling easier. And one of the biggest perks I’ve found is you get to start the sex therapy journey in an environment that’s already familiar. This gives you a major leg up. The sooner you feel more comfortable and relaxed during the session, the easier it is to open up, and the faster you start making progress. Take advantage of the fact you’re already in a safe, known space, and enjoy engaging in online therapy from home!
Free online sex therapy intro call in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
I hope this helps you think about what you need to succeed with online sex therapy in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (and beyond!). If you’re still wondering if online sex therapy is right for you, or you have more questions about how to best set this up, click here to schedule a free 15 min phone chat. I’d be happy to learn more about your process and help you choose the best mode of therapy. If you’re looking for individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, click these links to learn more about how I can help.
My specialties include low desire, differential desires, low libido, sexual communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.
