Struggling with sexual anxiety? Masturbating can make a huge difference

I’m Erinn, your Philadelphia sex therapist, and I want you to know sexual anxiety is a common issue many individuals experience at some point in their lives. It can manifest in various ways, such as performance anxiety, fear of intimacy, or difficulty achieving arousal or wanting to have sex in the first place.

While there are different approaches to addressing sexual anxiety, one method that can be helpful is through the practice of masturbation. Masturbation can be a powerful tool in dealing with sexual anxiety. Keep reading for some tips on incorporating it into your self-care routine.

Using Masturbation to Manage Sexual Anxiety:

Your Philadelphia Sex Therapist

Understanding Sexual Anxiety

Sexual anxiety is often rooted in fear, self-doubt, and unrealistic sexpectations (sexual expectations). It can be caused by a range of factors, including past negative experiences, societal pressures, body image issues, or relationship dynamics. These concerns can create a cycle of anxiety and expectation, making it difficult to relax, be present, and enjoy sexual experiences. Masturbation offers an opportunity to explore your own body and establish a positive relationship with your sexuality, which can help alleviate some of these anxieties.

The Benefits of Masturbation for Sexual Anxiety

1. Self-Exploration and Body Awareness

   Masturbation allows you to become more familiar with your own body, including what feels pleasurable and what doesn't. This self-exploration can help you understand your unique desires, preferences, and boundaries, increasing your sense of confidence and empowerment.

1. Stress Relief

   Masturbation is a natural stress reliever. Engaging in this activity releases endorphins and oxytocin, which are hormones that promote relaxation and happiness. Regularly incorporating masturbation into your routine can help reduce overall anxiety levels and improve your general well-being.

2. Performance Anxiety Relief

   Masturbation provides a safe space to address performance anxiety without the pressure of a partner's expectations. By practicing self-pleasure, you can focus solely on your own pleasure and gradually build confidence in your sexual abilities.

Tips for Masturbation as a Tool for Sexual Anxiety Relief

1. Create a Comfortable Environment

   Set the mood in a way that makes you feel relaxed and secure. This might involve dimming the lights, playing soothing music, or using scented candles. Find a private and quiet space where you can fully focus on yourself and be free from distractions. Set intentional time aside for this where you won’t be disturbed or feel pressured to watch the clock.

2. Experiment with Different Techniques

   Don't be afraid to explore various techniques and stimulation methods. Try using different hand movements, sex toys, or even watching or reading erotic content if that is something that interests you. The goal is to discover what feels pleasurable and enjoyable for you. Don’t be afraid to get creative and explore.

3. Focus on Sensations, Not Goals

   Rather than solely focusing on achieving orgasm, concentrate on the pleasurable sensations you're experiencing. This shift in mindset can help reduce performance pressure and allow you to be more present in the moment.

4. Practice Mindfulness

   Research has shown mindfulness leads to more pleasure and enjoyment during sex so use masturbation as a way to explore this for yourself. Incorporating mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help calm your mind and bring your attention to the present moment. This can be particularly helpful as it allows you to come out of your head and into your body to focus more on sensations rather than thoughts.

5. Communication and Exploration

   If you're in a relationship, discuss your sexual anxiety with your partner. Open and honest communication can lead to a deeper understanding and empathy, fostering a supportive environment for exploration and growth together. This can also help you alleviate any pressure you feel to have obligatory sex (duty sex) and help let your partner know what’s going on for you so you can be on the same page.

Masturbation can be a valuable tool for managing and overcoming sexual anxiety. Through self-exploration, stress relief, and the promotion of body awareness, masturbation allows individuals to build confidence, overcome performance anxiety, and develop a positive relationship with their own sexuality. Remember, it's essential to approach this practice with patience, self-compassion, and a focus on pleasure rather than achieving specific goals. If sexual anxiety persists or becomes overwhelming, working with a sex therapist may also be beneficial.

Get Your Free Guide to Manage Sexual Anxiety and Increase Sex Drive

If you’re interested in individual sex therapy in Philadelphia or couples therapy in Philadelphia, you can read more about how I can help with both by clicking their links.

My specialties include low sex drive, differential desires, communication, managing sexual stress and pressure, and increasing connection.